Thursday 7th May, 2009

Dear Diary

I was talking to Alexa and saying my hope is to become her total slave. I want to be nothing more than a piece of meat for her to abuse at times whilst on others I wish to be her closest friend able to share my inner most feelings to her and to listen to hers. I told her about my own most painful memories and she thanked me for trusting her. It felt good to be able to share that with her as I have never told anyone about them before and other than her I never will. I feel safe with Alexa and feel a happiness and a completeness which I have never felt before. She is a wonderful person and one who I admire, adore, respect and feel so comfortable giving myself to utterly. Until meeting her I had had submissive feelings and tendencies all my life, but through getting to know her I have felt myself being drawn to her power and to the realisation I am a slave. I am Alexa's slave and I know that under her guidance and training I am going to grow and become what it is we both desire of me. I am still very inexperienced and I know at first I will make mistakes which I hope will become less and less as Alexa moulds me and shapes me into what it means to be a piece of property. I took several naked photographs to show her and she told me that I must shave my arm pits and my genitals. I cant wait to shave those parts of my body to be able to feel the smoothness of my skin. I have a feminine side to me as well which I shared with Alexa and to my delight she loved, she calls me her 'sweet sissy' and I blush with pride whenever she calls me it. I am a sissy and long to become a better feminised sissy under her elegant tuition. I can tell she will love dressing me and who knows will treat me like a sister or as a dirty whore. I told her of my desire to be treated like a slutty filthy hooker, I find it exciting to degraded and made to feel like a dirty street walking tart and to dress like one for Alexa's amusement would be very kinky and sexy. I would hope that she would take pictures of me which she could laugh at and use to humiliate me with. I will explore so many different fantasies with her, sometimes hers and sometimes mine but together our bond and our sessions will always be charged with energy, power and ecstatic bliss. I sense there is such a vast depth of intentions Alexa has for me as well as dark plans and I cannot wait, I will revel in her cries of laughter as she uses me in ways she has perhaps never used a slave before, to such depths that corrupt my innocence to the point of no return. I will give myself to her freely and willingly and joyously follow her to our decadent and hedonistic life together.